When you're looking forward to something but getting reactions you didn't expect, you're immediately getting a strange feeling: Disappointment.
There are days where you truly think the whole world turned against you. Not sure, if this only happens because it's my birthday, or just because I'm more emotional and maybe more blocked on other days.
I only know that I cried a lot on my "special day" this year. And not even a little, my eyes felt like the Niagara falls. But why? Because it hurts a lot when people disappoint you that are close to you and you usually can rely on. Especially on your birthday.
And what's with all these excuses? My closest friends could really make an "excuse-competition" this year: Unexpected company, relationship problems, no money for the train, or some other person who can only come visiting when I don't have time anymore... you name it.
But the worst part: When I get mad about all these excuses, all those people tell me to relax. But what's with me? I'm sitting there, on my birthday, without my closest friends and family and keep thinking: Am I the only person that takes friendship a bit more serious? Maybe I've watched too many movies with picture-perfect friends and great surprise parties... But I don't even want this. I just wanna gather all my loved ones. Just this once.
But luckily, there are friends, that make all these sad thoughts go away. People who care, take time to listen, and tell me that they love me. And even with those, who are too busy to come right now- We'll get along again soon. I believe that fights can be healthy.
But this doesn't help me on my birthday, and I just feel alone.