„When will I see you again?“
„We have time around 4 pm!“
„Who exactly is 'we'?“
„My babe and me!“
This is a story about the best friend who becomes the best friend plus 1. A story about people who are in a longterm relationship and totally forget that they're still individual beings and don't only exist in symbioses with their significant other. A story about everyone who completely seems to have forgotten the word "myself".
I am sure you all know these situations I described in the beginning. Sometimes you just wanna see your best friend, so you and her can complain about all those everyday-life-frustrations. And you do not wanna hold back in front of someone you barely know.
So, there are things I just don't wanna tell "them". I do not want a "listener" that I don't fully trust. I don't want that shadow next to my bestie who absorbs our talks but can't add anything because we don't share the same past that me and my friend do.
At some point I'm just like "so, what". I just wanna see my friend. And before I don't, I just forget about that "shadow" of hers that's gonna join. But guess what- when "shadow" has a cold, we're not going to meet at all: "'Shadow' is ill, I cannot let him stay alone on the couch."
WHOAT?? Pictures in my head are starting to move: I see my friend next to him on the floor, giving him a wet towel for his head, helping him to drink his tea and so on. Ridiculous.
I do not want to generalize this for all couples around the world. There are people who are independent individuals in their partnership. They're thinking and acting on their own authority. And when they want the partner to join they are simply asking before we meet.
This brings me to the question: Do these interdependent couples have a better partnership than the independent? And is it really the perfect partnership when a "me and you" turn into a "we"? Or is it just the perfect illusion of people who are not able to fill a "myself" on their own?
People have partnerships because of many different reasons, so there won't be an easy answer for that. I think it is important to feel save and sound in every relationship without forgetting yourself as an individual and without forgetting your relation to other people. When you have the feeling that all of your friends start to avoid you, you should start to question yourself, and think about what you're doing wrong.
Maybe you and your significant other will part someday – Then I finally will be able to get rid of all my anger against your silent ex-partner. But in case you guys seem to stay together forever, I guess I should really jump over my own shadow and give your s.o. the chance to really get to know him.