Diary

Feel like a Stranger

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diary-post-vickywanka-02To skip town, leave everything behind and live life to the fullest – that's how I was thinking about my three months stay here in Australia. But it is not as easy as it sounded. What happened? Just Reality.

I worked a lot, saved money, pimped my blog and after over one year of wishing to move to a sunny place, I finally arrived here in Australia. I am proud of that fact. Because cool jobs and beloved friends had to stay at home. I just left everything behind. For me, nothing is more satisfying than the pleasure you're feeling while making new experiences. Experiences I can tell my grandchildren about when I'm old.

Now, I'm here in Melbourne. The beach is directly in front of my door. Additionally there is a town with over a million inhabitants that wants to be explored. Everything's great – should beb great. My romantic idea of palm trees and sunsets with a nice and warm feeling is something that didn't come true during my first days here.

Instead of that I was unhappy, "moody", overstimulated, stressed and sleepless during nights, listless and uninspired to make plans for my time here during daytime. "What's wrong with you, Vicky?", I asked myself. Other people are dreaming of such a journey their whole life. Me, too. But maybe sometimes a dream should remain a dream!?

Ok, jetlag is crazy and hard to handle. But above all I underestimated one thing: To travel alone. That requires disciplin and initiative of one's own. To get up in the morning and to be motiviated to discover the unknown city sounds easier than it actually is. Though I got up early because of the time shift I realized after some minutes of walk, I cannot share anything I will see and experience. Ok, there is the Internet for sharing moments. Of course, I know that. But the mobile gate to the world is not as satisfying as a man of flesh and blood. Someone who smells, feels and sees the same things that I'm smelling, feeling and seeing right at this moment.  And then there suddenly appears this sneaky little feeling that is hard to confess: I am alone.

Be alone, be a stranger, be foreign, not to have to dos during everyday life. I really thought that travelling alone would be more fun. But I have to be patient – that's what my friends in Germany are saying. When you're tired and exhausted because of the long flight, it is hard to motivate with abstract and emtpy phrases though.

I just have take my time to process new impressions. I have a blog, so it will be easier for me than for others. Because I have a task. I create my own feel-good factor, that gives me regularity and that is not depending on someone else. I am sure this is a good base for a good time without familiar surroundings. It is important to realize: While traveling alone, of course you are "alone" but you'll never be lonely at all. This is going to be my mantra the following months.

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